We put so much effort in achieving things we love. Our hard work, determination, perseverance and passion, all line-up to meet that very end goal which the society terms as success. A person who has achieved success is always given an upper-hand in the gamut of various creeds of society. This serves as one of the important incentives when we deal with our goals. We focus on success and the rewards from society a lot and it’s more or less a psychological phenomenon. Our brain tends to have more clarity on a certain aspect if the people around share the same. This is called social loafing. But is it right?
If you ask me, it’s a thinking error. People are so much driven by the benefits of success that they forget the very much importance of falling down. It’s as vital as success itself. Failure in it’s core definition is an opposite of success. Something that people don’t desire and don’t work for. For obvious reasons nobody wakes up in the morning thinking that they would fail. Everyone wants to win. Everyone wants to have a better stand among people which is given by success. But if you ask me, I would say wisdom is to visit the cemeteries. To me, failure is as vital as success itself.
But why do people fear failure?
The primary reasons being that failing elicits many feelings such as disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness, regret, and confusion that while unpleasant are usually not sufficient to trigger a full blown fear of failure. Shame that rises post failure is a psychologically toxic emotion because instead of feeling bad about our actions (guilt) or efforts (regret) it makes us feel bad who we are as people. Shame gets to the core of our egos, our identities, our self-esteem, and our feelings of emotional well-being.
So how do we overcome such emotions? How to make failure a friend instead of an enemy that brings us down in life? How can this be a lesson? What should you remember?
- People who think intelligence is fixed at birth are more afraid of failure and find it harder to cope. So don’t be such a nutcase!
- Over-shielding a child from failure makes her more prone to getting an anxiety disorder
- Don’t blame everything on yourself, but don’t blame everything on outside forces either
- Accept the factors that are out of your control
- Don’t be afraid to reach out to others — support groups give you a place to vent and ask for help
- Try keeping a journal to make sense of your personal story
Last but not the least, never forget that you’re awesome. It takes just ONE opportunity, ONE goal, ONE dedicated person, to bring change. And failure, is a not the stop. But a pit-stop to re-fuel yourself for the long run.